People who have known what I have been through, have told me that I am strong. What they don’t know is the countless times I have cried going to sleep. When I have woken up in a dream crying. When I have called my sister to normalize what we have been through.
We maybe strong in a way. But, we are human. I see a therapist. Weekly. I have seen 3 different therapists. I have made two cry. I honestly did not know how to respond to that. I know there are people who have it worse than me. But, it did feel good that there are people to empathize with me.
Losing both parents at 15 and 19 is not easy. But the amazing skills the instilled in me and my sister has helped us progressed healthily in life. Without my sister, I do not know where I would be. She is one reason why I went into the fire service. A few months prior to my Mom dying from Cancer. I was in a Navy recruitment office taking the tests. When I told my sister, she made me promise not to leave. So, like the rest of my selfless family. I decided to help on the home-front. I would be a Firefighter. It was a great career. But now I am finding out that it might be more lucrative for my therapist…
To be continued…
My Brain Staged a Coup 